cumberqueen:

IMAGINE THAT IS MYCROFT. And imagine this: You’re a young man. Waking up to this sight. You can’t remember what happened. You’re tied to a chair. As you finally look Mycroft in the eyes, he says: “So… I hear you’re dating my daughter?” 

Nice. Or, alternately:
“I understand you’ve had a very unhealthy interest in my brother.  Unhealthy enough, in fact, that he’s spent the last week in hospital.  Very sloppy work, however; more fervent than skillful.  I’d like this to be an instructive meeting; show you how to improve upon your technique.  I can assure you, you’ll spend much longer in a hospital bed when we’re done.  In fact, you may not leave it.”

Mycroft smiled pleasantly at his… guest.  “Isn’t that fortuitous? Now, if you’ve no objections-” Soft, muffled noises are all that make it through the gag.  “None? Ah, good – let’s begin.”