bestquius:

There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.

I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele

Adventures at Appledore Towers, for acarlini & wegotelegance

tastefullyoffensive:

“Helping the princess” by Port Sherry

cabin pressure in five sentences

douglas: anything you can do I can do better
herc: I can do anything better than you
martin: excuse me as captain I command that we focus on actually flying the plane
arthur: aRE WE SINGING
carolyn: oh my fucking god