I really think you need to brush up on your mythology here. Do you even know what a hydra looks like?
This is a hydra. Its defining features are its one tail and many, many heads.
So what the fuck is this supposed to be?
That, Mr Schmidt, is a fucking octopus. Its defining features are its ONE head and many LEGS.
You literally could not have gotten this more wrong.
It’s very important to me that somewhere in hydra’s evil marketing department is a harried evil graphic designer who has been trying so hard to bring this up, okay, like, listen, the first — the first presentation she had an actual hydra, it was pretty cool, it was like an evil skull hydra, it had seven evil skulls, but they were like “that’s too many heads, it makes it seem like no one is in charge,” and she said, oh, but that’s what a hydra is, it has — and they said more loudly, “could you give it more tentacles, like it’s very insidious,” and she said, that’s — yes, but that’ll be — i mean, that’s definitely, um, but what you’re asking for is not a, um, a hydra — trying to catch the project manager’s eye like BACK ME UP, I KNOW YOU TOOK CLASSICS, but the project manager was pretending to look at something on his phone, and all the execs were staring at her like is she ARGUING with us?, and like, they’re supervillains, so she said, okay, i….i’ll, sorry, i — i’ll give you something with tentacles.
God all I want to do is write stories about harried Hydra employees trying to satisfy the increasingly bizarre demands of their evil employers
Like some guy in the assasinations department is like yes no ok we COULD unfreeze Captain America’s best friend and have him attempt to dramatically punch Cap to death OR I could just walk up behind Rogers at the next SHIELD all-hands-on-deck meeting and quietly shoot him in the head
and the brass is like NO DON’T BE ABSURD
DO YOU THINK WE SPENT ALL OF THIS TIME STYLING THE WINTER SOLDIER’S HAIR FOR NOTHING
whenever I feel bad about having a weird name I remind myself that C.S. Lewis’ middle name was Staples
When I was a kid, one of my family members quoted the first line of Dawn Treader—“There was a boy named Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it"—and I said, “Brave words from a man whose name was Clive Staples Lewis,” and my mom lost it.
When Jack Warner was casting the movie My Fair Lady, Julie Andrews, who played the original Eliza Doolittle on Broadway, was overlooked for the part, that was given to Audrey Hepburn.
That made her available to accept Mr. Disney’s invitation to play Mary Poppins.
At the 22nd Golden Globes, when she won the best actress award (she was up against Audrey for My Fair Lady), she had her sweet revenge.
THE SHADE OF IT ALL.
My boss told me this story and I didn’t believe it. It’s so good.
Scotty wearing his kilt in the “traditional” way until every single person in the engineering department signs a petition titled “Save Our Eyes: the Enterprise has more ladders than we ever realized before”
Lady Karasu 