wizardlogic:

Filch has a doctorate in art conservation and has definitely read Hogwarts A History

Actaully speaking of PoA, can we fuckin talk about Filch and his art credentials?

The portrait of the fat lady gets slashed and Dumbledore hands her off to Filch to get restored?

AND FILCH DOES IT, AND DOES IT WELL?

The next time we see her there is NO mention of anything like, oh she’s back but you can kinda see where she was cut… NO. She comes back in PEAK CONDITION.

Restored by Filch, who *has no magic.*

He restored this however many hundreds of year old painting *by hand.*

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH SKILL MUST HAVE BEEN INVOLVED HERE?

This 100% changes the character of Filch. Like I’ve only ever seen him portrayed as this kind of head janitor kind of character, movies style, but like. Why? Why would Hogwarts need that if it’s full of house elves? According to Harry Oblivious Potter, probably cause Dumbledore felt bad and gave him a shitty job but one he could at least do and still be in the wizarding world.

WRONG. It’s cause that’s not his actual job.

Listen.

Dung bomb goes off in a classroom? Long night for the house elves.

Dung bomb goes off in a 300 year old suit of armor? Long six to eight weeks for Argus Filch.

Fanged frisbee tears up an irreplaceable tapestry?

Filch.

Peeves draws dicks on a portrait of the founders?

Filch.

All these damn kids in and out of here every day acting like dumbasses and blowing stuff up when it’s already bad enough they keep tracking dirt and *breathing* all over everything?

Filch.

Now how about, how does Filch know all the secret passages? A combination of things. Probably paintings told him about some. You spend weeks restoring a portrait of someone who helped build the place which lives and moves and speaks in their voice and you’re bound to at least talk a bit, if not learn a few things. But many he probably found on his own, either by wit or by study- he’s gotta be entrenched in tr history of this place. If Binns hadn’t come back as a ghost Filch could probably teach history of magic in his place.

He keeps the place in order such that generations next will still have it, and said generations next show him no god damn respect for that. He’s bitter for a lot of excellent reasons.

syn-the-procrastinator:

geekmehard:

unwinona:

When I was in Ninth Grade, I won a thing.  

That thing, in particular, was a thirty dollar Barnes & Noble gift certificate.  I was still too young for a part-time job, so I didn’t have this kind of spending cash on me, ever.  I felt like a god.

Drunk with power, I fancy-stepped my way to my local B&N.  I was ready to choose new books based solely on the most important of qualities…BADASS COVER ART.  I walked away with a handful of paperbacks, most of which were horrible (I’m looking at you, Man-Kzin Wars III) or simply forgettable.  

One book did not disappoint.  I fell down the rabbit hole into a series that proved to be as badass as the cover art promised (Again, Man-Kzin Wars III, way to drop the ball on that one).  With more than a dozen books in the series, I devoured them.  I bought cassette tapes of ballads sung by bards in the stories.  And the characters.  Oh, the characters.  I loved them.  Gryphons, mages, but most importantly, lots of women.  Different kinds of women.  So many amazing women.  I looked up to them, wrote bad fiction that lifted entire portions of dialogue and character descriptions, dreamed of writing something that the author would include in an anthology.

This year I decided in a fit of nostalgia to revisit the books I loved so damn much.  I wanted to reconnect with my old friends…

…and I found myself facing Mary Sues.  Lots of them.  Perfect, perfect, perfect.  A fantasy world full of Anakin Skywalkers and Nancy Drews and Wesley Crushers.  I felt crushed.  I had remembered such complex, deep characters and didn’t see those women in front of me at all anymore.  Where were those strong women who kept me safe through the worst four years of my life?

Which led me to an important realization as I soldiered on through book after book.  That’s why I needed them.  Because they were Mary Sues.  These books were not written to draw my attention to all the ugly bumps and whiskers of the real world.  They were somewhere to hide.  I was painfully aware that I was being judged by my peers and adults and found lacking.  I was a fuckup.  And sometimes a fuckup needs to feel like a Mary Sue.  As an adult, these characters felt a little thin because they lacked the real world knowledge I, as an adult, had learned and earned.  But that’s the thing…these books weren’t FOR this current version of myself.   Who I am now doesn’t need a flawless hero because I’m comfortable with the idea that valuable people are also flawed.

There is a reason that most fanfiction authors, specifically girls, start with a Mary Sue.  It’s because girls are taught that they are never enough.  You can’t be too loud, too quiet, too smart, too stupid.  You can’t ask too many questions or know too many answers.  No one is flocking to you for advice.  Then something wonderful happens.  The girl who was told she’s stupid finds out that she can be a better wizard than Albus Dumbledore.  And that is something very important.  Terrible at sports?  You’re a warrior who does backflips and Legolas thinks you’re THE BEST.   No friends?  You get a standing ovation from Han Solo and the entire Rebel Alliance when you crash-land safely on Hoth after blowing up the Super Double Death Star.  It’s all about you.  Everyone in your favorite universe is TOTALLY ALL ABOUT YOU.

I started writing fanfiction the way most girls did, by re-inventing themselves.  

Mary Sues exist because children who are told they’re nothing want to be everything.  

As a girl, being “selfish” was the worst thing you could be.  Now you live in Narnia and Prince Caspian just proposed marriage to you.  Why?  Your SELF is what saved everyone from that sea serpent.  Plus your hair looks totally great braided like that.

In time, hopefully, these hardworking fanfiction authors realize that it’s okay to be somewhere in the middle and their characters adjust to respond to that.  As people grow and learn, characters grow and learn.  Turns out your Elven Mage is more interesting if he isn’t also the best swordsman in the kingdom.  Not everyone needs to be hopelessly in love with your Queen for her to be a great ruler.  There are all kinds of ways for people to start owning who they are, and embracing the things that make them so beautifully weird and complicated.

Personally, though, I think it’s a lot more fun learning how to trust yourself and others if you all happen to be riding dragons.

Mary Sues exist because children who are told they’re nothing want to be everything.

A girl making herself the hero of her own story is a radical act. Stop shaming girls for doing it. Stop shaming yourself for it. 

That moment when people are so condescending towards young girls about everything they do they even make fun of their escapism methods 

It’s fine if we don’t like it, they aren’t doing this for us anyways 

Just let them have a safe space

tsunamikillershark:

justangrymacaroni:

A witch puts a spell on a girl, a sleeping spell that promises the girl shall wake through true love’s kiss. Men come and kiss her. She slumbers. Women come and press their lips to hers, but still she sleeps. Many years past, and the girl remains still. One bright morning,  a lost little boy finds her resting spot and clears the dust and grime from her face. He offers her a kiss on her forehead, and her eyes flutter open. She never feels romantic love for a man nor a woman, and she cares for the boy until the day she dies.

A young woman is imprisoned in a castle by a monstrously formed prince. The servants of the castle hope for them to fall in love, and when the spell is broken they assume their prayers have been answered. They are all surprised, but nonetheless pleased, when it is revealed to them that the young woman and prince are the truest of friends, and nothing more.

They say the kingdom is ruled by an evil queen, a woman who is incapable of loving. She is unmarried, she has no consorts, and she wishes for no partner. She is the wretched queen, the heartless queen. She must hate her daughter, for her daughter is beautiful, and women are incapable of liking another woman who’s prettier than themselves. It must be for this reason that the princess was sent away, not for how she was attacked by a man in the woods. They say the kingdom is ruled by an evil queen because she cannot love. The queen loves her daughter, and that is enough for them both.

There lives a prince who is forced to choose a bride at the ball. He meets many beautiful women, but find none which he loves. He spies one in a gorgeous gown and wonder in her eyes, and he dances with her all night long. The kingdom is sure he has found his bride. When the clock strikes midnight he tells her how he will never love a woman, or a man, in the way he is expected to. The beautiful woman smiles and tells him she expects nothing from him. The next morning the prince and the beautiful woman are missing, having run off together to see the world. They leave their shoes behind in their haste.

Many kinds of love exist. It doesn’t all have to be romantic.

Love this so much

surreality51:

foxghost:

This post is made because I don’t want to wall of text on that Chinese names post.

As a translator, I like to normalise the usage of pinyin honorifics and titles the way Japanese honorifics and titles are normalised in anime/manga. If you’re familiar with anime/manga, I’m sure this list is familiar to you: -san -sama -kun -kaasan -niisan -neesan -sensei -senpai -chan -bucho -shacho. I see no reason at all why we can’t do the same with Chinese honorifics except for the easily translated occupational ones.

Now, the next bit is off the top of my head, and I’ve only read the book 1.5 times (i’m currently 48 chapters into a re-read) so feel free to correct please.

There are three major characters in Zhenhun that uses ‘special’ personal pronouns on top of the usual ‘I’: Daqing, Lin Jing, and Zhao Yunlan. (I’m also attaching a list of how each character is referred to by the others, and it’s gotten long, hence the cut.)

Keep reading

OMG, the solution to my earlier musing about how to handle Chinese names in English fanfic! Bookmarking this now for reference.

Question: “Shen Wei, when he’s feeling particularly effusive, calls him Yunlan, and only once, 阿瀾 / ah-Lan.” So what does Shen Wei usually call him if he’s not feeling particularly effusive? Just Zhao Yunlan? Does he address ZYL any differently after they become intimate?

brendaonao3:

wikketkrikket:

I always found it a bit odd. Hilarious, but it raised too many questions. When did Steve make these? Why did Steve make these? How did he manage to be so cheesy and overly sincere knowing how much crap he would get from the other Avengers for it?

Well, today my sister told me her headcanon. Picture the scene. Steve leans on the back of a chair, as above. Peter immediately launches into ‘So, you got detention…’. Cap blinks. Peter awkwardly tries to explain. It turns out Cap has no idea what videos he means, and neither do any of the other Avengers.

So they get in touch with the company who made them, and they swear blind that it was really the real Captain America, and that it all his idea. That he came in and said how much he wanted to help the youth of today.And the Avengers all lose it because someone is running around doing an unbelievably good impression of Captain America, they could have destroyed his reputation, they could have infiltrated the Avengers; and instead all they are apparently using it for is to make silly, embarrassing videos.

It’s completely baffling. Who could possibly be behind it all?

A mystery.

This is the only headcanon I will accept

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

scotsdragon:

roaringstream:

parks-and-rex:

peterparkesfluff:

parks-and-rex:

cottonginandjuice:

xelamanrique318:

andthewasp:

andthewasp:

andthewasp:

if thanos wanted to kill off half of the population because there weren’t enough resources……..but then snapped half of the vegetation and animals (according to the russos)……..then isn’t he back at square one……………and there aren’t enough resources for the population……………

what about……..all of the empty and abandoned planets……..he couldn’t have restributed populations there? or like………..what about endangered species they’re pretty much gone now thanks to T Hanos…………..he really didn’t think this through………….

this is deadass what part 4 is gonna be. like he’s gonna realize “huh…. maybe this wasn’t a good idea” and reverse time.

Or he literally could have just doubled the resources

Maybe I’m wrong but all he would need is the Space Stone to teleport and  redistribute resources + life. But I guess killing half of all life made more sense.

Or he could’ve just created more planets and teleported the halfs but a bitch is too dumb

He can throw a moon for a fight but teleporting some resources is too much work?

He can change reality but he uses it to fake his death and do a power point presentation?

He has the time stone, in which he could literally go back in time and save his home planet ….not by killing half of them …but by using these new powers?

T Hanos a stupid mf and needs his ass beat asap

Thanos’ plan made way more sense when it was to try and bone a skeleton.

It’s not often you can say that changing a story so it’s not about a man trying to have sex with a Space Skeleton makes it LESS coherent and sensible but here we are

missgoalie75:

accio-shitpost:

sirius black: imprisoned for a crime he did not commit, escaped to go commit that crime as fast as possible

#already did the time might as well do the crime ( @quentincoldwatcr )