Arthur Conan Doyle: Trying to see how little fucks he can give about a series of books before people start to notice.
I’ve seen this going around a few times, and while I can’t deny that ACD gave absolutely zero fucks sometimes, this is still sort of inaccurate. And kind of unfair to Holmes. I just wanted to fix it a bit.
- First, Holmes didn’t hit a ledge by accident. He and Moriarty grappled on the cliff, and then he used his knowledge of baritsu (which is totally made up and a great example of how ACD just fucked around, but which most agree is sort of like judo) to overbalance him and toss him over. He never fell, and even says as much to Watson. “Well, then, about that chasm. I had no serious difficulty in getting out of it, for the very simple reason that I never was in it.”
- After he pitches Moriarty off a cliff, he has his moment of clarity, and explains his reasons for faking his death as follows: “It came about in this way. The instant that the Professor had disappeared, it struck me what a really extraordinarily lucky chance Fate had placed in my way. I knew that Moriarty was not the only man who had sworn my death. There were at least three others whose desire for vengeance upon me would only be increased by the death of their leader. They were all most dangerous men. One or other would certainly get me. On the other hand, if all the world was convinced that I was dead they would take liberties, these men, they would soon lay themselves open, and sooner or later I could destroy them. Then it would be time for me to announce that I was still in the land of the living. So rapidly does the brain act that I believe I had thought this all out before Professor Moriarty had reached the bottom of the Reichenbach Fall.”
- So, basically, he was playing a long game, and avoiding attempted assassination. This fear was totally founded, because immediately after that Moran shows up and tries to kill him by pitching rocks down the cliff face at him. He barely escapes.
- He stays away until he eliminates two of the three men, and does some other work in Europe and Asia. But he legitimately fears going back to London, because Moran is there and knows he’s alive.
- The main reason he can come back even at the start of the Empty House is because Moran has committed a murder and he can put him away. Before that, both Moriarty and Moran have fooled everyone into thinking they’re upstanding citizens. Moriarty’s brother even defends him after his death.
I’m not saying Holmes wasn’t a total bastard about it. He doesn’t tell Watson he’s alive because he’s afraid he’ll ruin his plans, which is just awful, and he actually has the audacity to make snarky comments about how Watson and the Swiss police formed their conclusions about his death. You can’t read “I had no idea that you would be so affected” without wanting to strangle him.
He didn’t stay away just because he felt like it, though. He’s a completely dismissive prick about the whole thing, sure, but he spent three years on the lam so he didn’t put himself or anyone else in danger.
The whole thing about the two wives and Watson’s name change is 100% true, though. And don’t ever look into Doyle’s timeline, ever.
Lady Karasu 