benedictatorship:

tinibellbeanie:

Flew home from LAX-SJC today (with some really, devestatingly handsome water polo players who are dumber than a bag of bricks.) I took Southwest, but I think I might have been duped. 

Some highlights from the cabin crew: 

“I’ve no desire to work harder, so we are working smarter. We are taking a union break and we’ll be passing the peanuts down the aisle during take-off. Grab the packets off the floor as they slide by, or throw them at your neighbor if he’s taking the entire arm rest.”(packets of peanuts begin sliding down the center aisle as passengers grab at them from the floor. I’m not kidding.)

“Please look at your menus in your seat-back pockets before we get to your seat for the inflight service. We are unfortunately completely out of ‘I don’t know’ and ‘What do you have?’, so please don’t ask us.”

“Your flight attendants today are Hugh, the sexiest model/steward of all, Rosie “Snazzy Spice”, and I am Julie but you can call me the Duchess, Ruler of the Skies. And yes, water polo boys, I am single and ready to mingle, if we can forget about my husband.”

“Make sure you tell us we are pretty as we pass you by. Especially Hugh. Give a little wave there, Hugh. That’s Hugh. Isn’t he pretty?”

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